Tennessee

Things I learned on the Tour of Tennessee Prelim Trip:

1.  Memphis doesn't look confusing on a map, but it sure is in real life.

2.  Nashville looks super confusing on a map, but I didn't have *too* much trouble with it.

3.  A GPS is useful in some situations.  However, I'm over the little GPS woman and her condescending ways.

4. She is, however, much more tolerable in German. Links abbiegen.  That means turn left.  Emily and I are pretty much bilingual now.

5.  My little BFF the GPS has no clue about what's going on in Gatlinburg.  Seriously, guys.  We got into Gatlinburg, wound up into the mountains and back down again (me having a minor panic attack the whole time about driving a freaking 12-passenger van on the tiny, tiny roads) to find that she should have just told us to turn left at the fork.  We would have avoided the entire situation if we would have just turned left (or "link abbigen-ed" for those of you who liked the German setting on the GPS).

6.  Gatlinburg has somehow become one of my favorite towns ever.  I'm not sure how it happened, but I'm strangely OK with it.  I am, however, afraid that my love of Gatlinburg will turn me into one of those people in Gatlinburg.  You know, shiny pantsuits (or really, pantsuits in general...never OK), big bouffant hair...  I don't know, it just feels like a potential slippery slope that I probably need to watch out for.

7.  Julia will attempt to spend at least $300 on souvenirs on this trip.  It's just her kind of stuff...not really useful, but highly amusing.

8.  Originally I would have said that David would die when he got to Graceland.  Now I know that he needs to hang on long enough to see THE WORLD'S LARGEST FREAKIN' ZOLTAR in Gatlinburg. Who knew?

9.  Jessica will indeed die when she visits Graceland.  Kitsch heaven.

10.  Jessica stalks my blog.  That doesn't technically have anything to do with the Tennessee trip, but I learned it while I was there.  Hey J-Dawg!

11.  I feel like Kelsey's going to go over really well in Tennessee.  I mean, low husky voice out of a little bitty kid?  They eat gimmicks like that up in those parts...

12.  The drive from Memphis to Nashville is the worst leg of the trip.  It's just so boring that it's mind-numbing.  I couldn't speak in complete sentences by the time we got to Nashville.  The hotel receptionist man had to fill-in-the-blanks for me.  I just couldn't come up with words...words like "hotel".  Whatever, don't judge me.  IT WAS BORING.

13.  Sister Wives might be my new favorite TV show.  It was a late night Gatlinburg hotel find, completely by accident.  By the first commercial break I was tearing into the bathroom, jumping over things, knocking Emily out of the way just to make sure I could get my contacts out and glasses on before the commercial was over.  It was a little ridiculous, but that show is AMAZING.

14. EVERYTHING IN PIGEON FORGE IS SOOOO BIG. It is simply a beautiful, magical place.

15.  I wish Holly was going on this trip, because I think she'd ADORE these places and I think they'd ADORE her.

16.  I love Emily.  And she loves me.  Right, Emily?  RIGHT EMILY??? YOU LOVE ME, DAMMIT, EMILY!!!! I KNOW YOU DO AND YOU CAN'T HIDE IT ANYMORE.  

excuse me...i mean, um, want to sit with me at lunch, emily?


Well, that's what I learned on the trip (amongst various and sundry other things).

Pictures in the following post, because if I learned nothing else from my last blog excursion it's that I suck at trying to post pictures within text.

Edited to Add:  Here's the picture post... http://amazinglybeautifullife.blogspot.com/2010/10/visual-tour.html