Today, I uttered the words...

..."I'm having some birth control drama at Walmart".

I sort of feel like that's only a breath away from "I'm having some baby daddy drama at the Dairy Queen".

It's a slippery slope, my friends. A slippery slope.





P.S.--YES I recognize that this is my second post in a row referring to Walmart.

DON'T JUDGE.

How valuable must something be...

...for you to go after it if it drops in the toilet...AT WALMART.

Today at Walmart, I overheard a girl talking about how her bellybutton ring fell out and landed in the toilet.  It was kind of a weird story, and I was about to stop eavesdropping when the story took a turn for the horrible. Girl with the bellybutton ring admitted loudly and proudly that she went in after it.  Let me repeat that: she went in after it. SHE STUCK HER HAND IN A WALMART TOILET.  She justified her abhorrent actions by saying that she hadn't used it yet, and "body jewelry is, like, super expensive".

So, I started reflecting on the more meaningful questions in life, such how "How valuable must something be for you to go after it if it drops in the Walmart toilet?".

Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.  There are no wrong answers.  I will probably, however, never touch you again if your answer is valued at less than $200.

Me personally?  If I dropped my UTERUS in a Walmart toilet, I'm not going after it.  But that's just me.

I sure ain't Martha Stewart...

...but I'm baking two cakes this weekend.  The cooking/baking gene runs rampant in my family.  Like, several people run businesses that involve baking.

I, unfortunately, did not get the gene that makes you good at cooking-type activities.  I also did not get the gene that makes you enjoy cooking-type activities.  I really don't like to cook, which, let's be honest, probably stems from the fact that as a general rule I don't like to do things I'm not good at.

This will be my first solo attempt at a Coca-Cola cake, as well as my first-ever attempt at a completely new cake (can't ruin the surprise by telling you what it is).

The bright side to my solo attempt is that at least I won't have my grandmother yelling about how I'll "never get a husband if you don't like to cook" and how she "can't possibly help you if you insist on using your left hand".

I'll document with pictures.  Wish me luck.

When Things Fall Into Place

We’re all friends here.  Let’s not put on airs.  Big the Musical has been a long time coming.  You’ve all heard all about it.  I know, you’re sick of it, it’s fine.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to that CD.  You would probably fall over if you had any idea how many hours of AT&T airtime have been used talking through the show with David.  Seriously.  It’s upsetting.

Guys, it got REAL tonight.  I’m sitting there in the LJCC looking at one of the most truly talented casts I’ve ever seen.  I’ve rattled off the list of names over and over. It's become almost automatic. I list people in the same order almost every time. I have my canned explanation of who the people are that you might not know. I still shriek a little bit when I say a couple of the names, but it's still automatic. 

I walked into the LJCC tonight, and THERE THEY WERE.

People I have grown up watching on stage.  People that I have watched grow up.  Some people that I’ve never worked with.  Some of my best friends in the whole world, because let’s be honest, if I am good at only one thing in life it is surrounding myself with people who are a whole lot more talented than I am.  

Everyone greeted each other "old home week"-style, and I just sat there realizing this is really it. We're really all going on this adventure together. When I was in the ensemble of Big, the Musical 10 (10! AHH!) years ago, I would have *never* guessed that tonight would happen, and that I would be so lucky. 

Thanks for trusting me, guys. We’re totally gonna pull this off.  I’M READY.

Why I Love the Royal Family...

I ran across this picture of Kate...excuse me...CATHERINE Middleton today.

Want to know my first thought when I saw this?  "Oh I love that dress.  I totally want it.  Although I suspect I would need her entire body for it to look right.  And that hat.  It's so...understated."

I used the word "understated" to describe that hat.  UNDERSTATED.

But, by English standards, that hat is totally understated.

If I showed up at a party wearing that hat, people would be like, "Nice headpiece, dingbat" and then they'd spend the rest of the evening discussing (in not-so-hushed tones) who just won the betting pool on when I would officially flip my lid.

Oh, to be British.  And, you know, married to the future King of England.